Breeze Flights from PVU to Baltimore

Oh, let's embark on a journey that's just as enticing as listening to a politician's speech. The thrill, of course, is hopping on one of those ultra-luxurious Breeze flights from Provo (PVU) to Baltimore, a long and adventurous soiree where every flight schedule is treated like a sacred scroll. Before you dive in, let's give you some insider tips that will have you counting your lucky stars you landed here first.

Unsurprisingly, the airfare is anything but modest. The resources one must employ to find cheap flights are akin to a treasure hunt, but with a less satisfying victory lap. Don’t be deceived by the dubious allure of "Last-minute flights." Consider them a cardinal sinner of air travel, this tactic often leads to late-night red-eye flights that are about as refreshing as old reheated coffee. Find direct flights, my intrepid traveler, and safeguard that precious sleep.

Comparing economy class to business class is much like comparing a low budget movie to an Oscar winner - one tries its best to emulate the other but falls a little short. Economy class, with its limited legroom and culinary marvel dubbed 'aircraft food,' offers a charmingly minimalist experience. But for the frequent flyer that has seen one too many safety demonstrations, there can be a silver lining. This comes in the shape of a mileage program which is the airlines' not-so-discrete attempt to redeem themselves. It's not too shabby, truth be told, especially if you fancy feeling like a million bucks on your next flight.

Oh, and prepare thyself for the exquisite paradox of 'connecting flights’, where one globetrotter partakes in the aerial equivalent of musical chairs. A plethora of flights await the gallant passenger, coupling the voyage with the added thrill of a layover. Time stands still in an airport during a layover, so bring along that book you’ve been meaning to finish since 2005.

Flight duration, for the uninitiated, refers to the agonizing (or exhilarating, for the aviation enthusiast) period from wheels-up to touchdown. One-way or round-trip, the flight's duration your journey on Breeze serves as a ticking countdown to when you finally set foot in the cultural epicenter named Baltimore. For the sensorially inclined traveler, brace yourself for a tantalizing array of in-flight services, from the newest blockbuster flicks to music that's cooler than the canned air.

Fret not about baggage allowance, dear wanderer, for Breeze's policies are as accommodating as a grandmother at Christmas. Unless you’re thinking of packing your pet elephant, in which case, you might want to reconsider. Whether it's more clothes than you could possibly wear or gifts for every distant relative, Breeze has got you covered.

Flight cancellation policy. Ahh, those three words. The bane of anyone looking to flexibly travel. But hey, remember it's all part of the journey, is it not? And let's not forget the tales you'll share of your run-ins with airline customer service. The riveting stories will surely work as an effective social repellent! Amidst airline reviews that make Shakespearean dramas look like child's play, Breeze manages to blend right in with their stimulating mix of the reassuringly good and the occasionally hair-pullingly frustrating.

And finally, the best time to book. The elusive holy grail of flight bookings. Is it 60 days in advance, or is it 3 weeks before the flight? No one quite knows for sure, but rest assured it's as captivating a pursuit as any.

So here's to Breeze: may your flights-ever fall under the category of 'memorable adventures' and not 'things we openly weep about at therapy.' Fly safe, fly smart, and remember, this journey from PVU to Baltimore, it's yours to relish in the most divine sarcasm such aviation marvels can offer. Safe travels!