Breeze Flights from SAV to Portland

Anyone planning on catching a Breeze from Savannah (SAV) to the City of Roses (Portland, for the geography-challenged) might want a little heads-up. So, buckle up for a smooth landing into the effervescent world of air travel where 'flights' are more colorful than a Picasso painting, ‘airfare’ might leave you hopping like a kangaroo with your wallet flipped inside out, and you might have to stare into the red-eye of a 'redeye flight'. But worry not, for this trip with Breeze airlines promises a hilarious adventure, thoroughly sprinkled with a bit of turbulence and a lot of belly laughs.

Ever wonder why they're called 'round-trip' flights? A round trip is when you turn around at the traffic signal realizing you forgot your wallet at home; you cannot do that mid-flight. However, while we're still on the ground, let's get one thing straight: Breeze - it doesn't mean the airline is powered by wind, nor does it indicate the presence of a refreshing air conditioning system. The name merely suggests that your journey is going to be as smooth and effortless as a 'breeze'. No jousting with fellow passengers for armrest domination, dodging falling 'baggage allowance' from the overhead bin, or having contemplative encounters with microwaved airline food.

But first, a game of roulette anyone? Well, that’s pretty much the lay of the land when you're hunting for 'cheap flights', and every click of the 'Refresh' button is like the spin of the roulette wheel. The swipe of your credit card is where lady luck either blesses you or leaves you sobbing into your midnight snack. If you're lucky, you could strike gold with a 'flight deal' but let’s be frank, you have a better chance finding a unicorn doing the moonwalk. Though, just between you and me, the 'best time to book' is usually yesteryear – remember that for your next trip, will you?

Got a presentation to finish or a Netflix binge to continue? Worry not; your 'flight duration' will generously endow ample time for both. But ahoy there, if you're thinking of escaping your garrulous neighbor with ‘connecting flights,’ you could find yourself navigating through an obstacle course of flustered passengers, screaming kids, and disgruntled flight attendants. I do not recommend it unless you're prepared for a heptathlon, my friend.

If 'economy class' to you means tightly packed like sardines and fed potato chips with exception of expecting a trapeze artist to entertain you mid-flight, then you're in for a surprise. Breeze values comfort just as much as your grandmother values her rocking chair. But I must give it to you straight – if your idea of ‘in-flight services’ is being pampered with a pedicure at 36,000 feet, you're aboard the wrong flight, sweetheart.

If you play your cards right and sign up for the 'mileage program', there's a fair chance you'll be sipping champagne in 'first-class' (OK, maybe just in your dreams) before you can say 'frequent flyer'. And just in case you were having nightmares about the ‘flight cancellation policy’, relax! Getting a refund from this airline is easier than convincing your kid that the tooth fairy is real, and let’s be honest, we all did that pretty well, right?

In conclusion, my intrepid explorer, remember that 'direct flights' to your destination don't mean the pilot is using Waze. Hence, if you do find yourself onboard a Breeze, sit back, relax, and surrender yourself to the breezy pleasures of air travel. It’s going to be a ride smoother than your grandma’s favorite apple sauce. Bon, voyage!